Home OpinionComrade Tichatonga Unmasking the Charlatan

Unmasking the Charlatan

by commuadmin
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Even in the liberation war there were sellouts (vatengesi). Taivaona but differently back then, we always had a proper way to punish such. Can we however call Chebundo and Timveous vatengesi? Tichatonga is yet to establish truth as some circles argue that it was a matter of priorities. Yes; social circles argue that Chamisa has had and has got nothing much to offer currently except for verses and the issue remains debatable.

I also hear more stewards are yet to leave the opposition for independent posts if not joining the Rural Party. Is joining the rural party the solution though if I may ask? I am left to think these people are as corrupt as the ones they are joining because no one would make such a decision with good intentions for this country.

Does Zimbabwe still have an opposition or we now have only individuals like Mahere, Wiwa, Bvondo, Kura, Mako, Obey, to name but a few. Where is the fire that used to burn through the Shake-Shake building…? Tsvangson must be turning in his grave. MHSRIP!

Ohh, salutations. After a week investigating issues happening in the corridors of power Tichatonga will be wanting to belt out all before his small memory crushes with facts overload.

Greetings and salutations to you dear comrades, this is your one and trusted O’vet who witnessed the tribabilas incident; muera nhema who when he lies his teeth decay. The only academic credential I have is speaking truth to power.

Cde Tichatonga has been reliving some events of the past few weeks and months running into years, and as his vivid and selective memory may have it, he has been amused plenty; by the ‘discoveries’ he unearthed in the august and austere exercise especially at the Rural Party’s (mis)adventures.

The Rural Party has a serious penchant for Command processes. Cde Tichatonga laughed plenty when he discovered the Command Partern. Command Poultry under Cde Mboko, Command Livestock, Command Corruption, Command Land Baronry, Command Support, now the latest addition has been Command Opposition under Cde Khupe and Cde Mwonzora; but the one that takes the crown folks, wait for it, wait for it…, Command Vaccination!

So Sacrfmore came out to address the nation and to utter yet another threat. No surprise though. The man revels in threatening the masses. ‘Kuvhundusira vanhu!? Ahhh vanhu vanovhunduka ka!’ So, it had to take a whole president of the Rural Party and our Ruins, to threaten us of exclusion from various issues and processes just because I have exercised my right not to be vaccinated!? How many vaccines did Zimbabwe receive and how many are we in this country of toil and sweat if I may ask? Zvinoshamisa izvi. Did the Crocodile read his law in Zambezi or what?

So, on the one hand I am encouraged to be aware of my rights, and in the next sentence I am told I can’t get a (non-existent) job without a jab. Kkk, zvimwe muti munotamba vakomana. These oxymorons promulgated by morons! It beats all logic…well, no surprises there, logic and the Rural Party seem to be eternal enemies in any case.

Who remembers the veiled threats masked in cleanliness? The story of cockroaches and village inspectors, smoking out cockroaches!? Zvakaoma!

Who remembers ‘Kombai murove?’

Who remembers civilians being shot in the back in Harare whilst exercising their democratic right to protest against whatever they deem unpalatable?

‘There is a Devil on the Cross’ right there. Cde Tichatonga has taken to the mountain top to warn against these charlatans, the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Unye veiled ‘as soft as wool.’  We know your antics Comrades. Nyaya yenyu yaakuziikanwa. Mahwanda mumunda wenzungu.

Ahhhh, before I forget, vaMbire vari Wedza iweeee. Tell me what’s happening between the City of Gweru and its residents? Residents under the representation of GRRA vanoti sumai nyaya, kanzuru inoti hatingapi munhu wese basa as they believe they have been entrusted to carry out the adminstrative mandate.

Some say the pressure group behind the much talk is a small fraction of Gweruans while again the pressure group says toda kuona kunowira svimbo nedowo. Vamwe vachiti, vamwe vachitiwo…zvakaoma varumewe. Cde Tichatonga is however quizzed and wants to know where will we get with this confrontational approach…?

These parties should have time to listen to each other and share one or two notes if development is to be achieved not kuda kuratidzana masimba aiwa bodo ndaramba. Ndopika nemukuru wangu Mafidhe kudai hakuna kwamunosvika!

The land barons! Iyi regai ndimboisiya kwanhasi though my plea would be please spare Machaya for now. He is already facing his music. Wese akadya mari yemastands ngaachimbozvimiririra. Mukundinzwa here Mai Manhambo? Mumwe nemumwe achanomira nezvake kudenga so get used while on this earth.

Oh, and it gets worse, the Minister of Health has announced that private companies willing to import the vaccine will have to register and do so through the Ministry of Finance. Now, yes, I admit, isusu vana Cde Tichatonga hatina kuzopfuura Standard 4 nekuda kwekuzoenda kuhondo kunosunga nyika, (oh sorry, kunosunungura nyika), but I see it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see there is something terribly amiss about this whole affair.

Ko shuwa shuwa Ministry of Finance yaakuitei futi panyaya yemuti weCovid?

We are in serious need of Psychiatrists in this country. The proverbial fish surely rots from the head.

Let me bid thee farewell folks.

Ahh by the way, please bury me next to Soul Jah Love should these good come to smoke me out for calling them to order.

Hazvizizvo zvatakaendera kuhondo izvi zviri kuitika izvi. Soul Masuka whispered to me MHSRIP from beyond the grave, and he decried the health system and the political system that is in decline and which abandoned him whilst he was alive only to offer his fans a piecemeal settlement which, as politically awakening as they are, are inevitably seeing through. Nxa!

Anyway, I am sure he and I will reminisce over the better days before our births and the shared life beyond the torture of living in man-made misery in Zimbabwe, through his music.

So lonely these days the Officer’s Mess is closed and I have nowhere to solicit for cold beverage. Sad how I am so lonely kwedu kwatinogara kudumpsite where bad odour, flies among many other ills are the order of the day. Hope on my way I will meet a traffic cop to give me a milk stout after his shift paroad nhasi.

Adious amigos.

Cde Tichatonga out!

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