‘I packed my things and left,’ begins the great novel House of Hunger by the maverick writer Dambudzo Marechera.
…and it is no secret that Zimbabweans have been packing their things and leaving their country of birth. The mass exodus continues on a daily basis, to such an extent that almost everyone is looking at the fastest way to the nearest port of exit.
It is sad.
Some years ago, when l was working closely with Cde Tshinga Dube in Makokoba, l would often go to the shebeens littered around the old suburb, and it was not uncommon to overhear teenagers expressing their ambition of going to Joburg when they grew up.
‘Ufuna ukuuenzani maUkulile?’ (What do you want to be when you grow up?)
‘Ngifuna uk’eGoli.’ (I want to go to Johannesburg!)
This would be the answer one would get most often.
Zvakaoma hazvo. And up to now, the trend continues, not only in Matebeleland, but the whole country. Now even Malawi and Lesotho have become prime destination for Zimbabweans.
Cry Zimbabwe. Cry the land of my birth.
They just don’t care.
With such a sombre environment tormenting my mind salutations had skipped my mind. Greetings and salutations to you dear comrades, this is your one and trusted O’vet who witnessed the tribabilas incident; muera nhema who when he lies his teeth decay. The only academic credential I have is speaking truth to power.
Meanwhile, I had a dream which I think I should share with you all. I dreamt of our revolutionary party founder, Robert Mugabe and Nelson Mandela in conversation somewhere I could not easily identify. Hope it’s heaven.
It was a moment of thruth where Mugabe was telling Mandela how his iliterarte nationals shunned looting books in preference for beer though Mandela also shot from the hip telling Mugabe how Zimbabweans using those books stole USD15 billion under his watch lol. I wish I had not woken up because by now I would have had answers who looted that money kkk.
Nonetheless, allow me to acknowledge the Nelson Mandela Day and one of my favourite quotes from the doyen of democracy remain his words that say, “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Need I interpret this?
Great minds have it that in a time of lies, it becomes a revolutionary act to tell the truth.
Zimbabwe is burning whilst the Rural Party bigwigs are busy watering their rose gardens in Borrowdale Brooke.
When Covid assistance packages were unveiled, Cde Tichatonga remembers clearly how Drax Industries and other bogus firms were awarded tenders by the Scarfmore administration to procure medical supplies…and as Hopewell Chin’ono unveiled, there was serious corruption whose trail landed right on Number 1’s doorstep.
But what happened? Zilch!
Is there an Anti-Corruption what what in Zimbabwe? Hahahaha seka zvako Negwande, ndiyani mbavha inoisa maBurglar bar akasimba pairi kuda kunoba? Nxa.
Am also told they now plan to train ECD kids investigative tactics to pin down corrupt bigwigs. I can’t wait to see the chefs in the dark corridors of power being pinned down by Grade Zeros kkk. Zvimwe muti munotamba vakomana!
There must be someone in Shake-Shake Building who thinks this is a joke, but they should be told, unequivocally, that the joke is not funny anymore.
Now Covid is back and back with a vicious vengeance, and now those amounts stolen in broad daylight handiti ndipo payaishanda kuchengetedza upenyu apa? Chete in Zimbabwe, Rural Party officials are more equal than others!
What happened to being decent in our dealings with each other? Zimbabweans are well known for their warm heartedness the world over – world over now because we are everywhere now – most fertile brains and productive labour ‘packed their things and left.’ Now videos of Shona speaking ladies looting in South Africa are doing the rounds…ummmn haaa yas.
Usually when you want to measure the nature of a nation’s conscience you use it’s women, who are usually the last line of defence in terms of moral decency. Manje ukaona women looting in far off lands joining the locals like that, then you know what is happening in the house.
The truth is that the fish rots from the head. So do Crocodiles apparently!
So where is the nation’s political conscience now when there is chaos in South Africa? Is Scarfmore hiding behind correctness by a subtle stance when the neighbour’s house is burning? A neighbour who has taken your orphaned children in? Yet you sit and enjoy ice cream while watching? Umm nhai Dambudzo!?
Ko shamwari yaDambudzo uyu Tagwirei uyu kuti anotombozivawo kuti bond rakaita SEI? Ava vaakutoita sekuti Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe chiSafe chekumba kwavo.
Shall we also mourn the death of our Judicial system? Ko Luke Petros, ohh sorry Luke Malaba ndiye still the fulcrum here in our judicial system? Cde Tichatonga is a bit rusty when it comes to Zimabwean current affairs. He does not view anything in Zimbabweans we as naturally unfolding anymore.
Haaa zvakaoma zvatimoitirwa nanaScarfmore Tongombeya. The men and women have lost any inkling towards reclaiming their political and moral compass. Kana iri Economic collapse iyo haaa hatichatauri.
Ko Oppah achiri kutaura nyaya yake here iya yekuti heee Corona is God’s punishment on White people? Ndakafirwa nemuzukuru wangu Listo ini, and akanga asiri murungu. Nxa, shuwa rimwe rikataura zvisina basa padhuze neni ndinoridira mbama!
Can someone please tell me about this noise yekuti Rural Party want to tell me how I should feel about Mai Tichatonga wearing her miniskirt? Ahhh kugadzirisa nyika pasi tsve, taaaande nemaMiniskirt nemaHipster! Nxaaa.
I also feel this country needs a life audit. I hope we also saw how one Minister is now denying buying a Rolls Royce after the supplier made headlines on social media. If the money is clean why hide?
Another Minister also comes out loud saying the monied Minister has such a car already and has no need to have another. That’s how deep corruption is in Zimbabwe, it’s defended by the powerful while the POVO suffers! Nick tinyarewo nxa!
Like always, I am getting to that point where I feel am getting too big mouthed. Let me shut up lest am accused of yep-yep. Yes, the courts back home can take you down for speaking truth to power kkk. How shameful!
I however can’t go before I speak of developments back home, kwedu kuMidlands kwatinotongera nyika. Of particular interest is the readmission of those who sided with Mugabe popularly known as G40s. Kwedu kuMidlands Matangaidze pfeee wadzoka mumusangano.
This is however a clear reflection that our is a forgiving government. After targeting criminals around the President during the ‘soft’ coup, the criminals have been re-admitted into the revolutionary party to continue with their dirty jobs. Who re-employs a criminal tell me nhai maComrades?
Like I earlier said, let me keep quite and get you more updates for our next meet up because if I pour all I have today, they will demolish my home kwedu kuDumpsite kwatinogara uko kkk.
Meanwhile, let me take a walk ndakananga kumachills kwamaFidhi. These days only us regular poachers are allowed inside as we work as spies to alert whether police are coming or not and also to assist those who are not allowed to be on the venue to buy our everyday opaque. Very soon am told it will be no vaccine no beer so to my good friends, lets get vaccinated.
Aluta Continuation MaComrades.
Adios Amigos.
Tichatonga, Out!
