Home OpinionComrade Tichatonga The harlotry in our backyard

The harlotry in our backyard

by commuadmin
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Kkk kuseka kwepa WhatsApp, seka zvako Tichatonga! Last week takati chii about land barons. Muromo waComrade hauwiri pasi zveshuwa and hauzarirwi nerwizi! Now umwe neumwe amira pazvake kwete kuda kunakurira Machaya akutotirira mhosva dzake dzimwe mhosva pamusoro pedzimwe. Asika chawana mumwe hachisekwi saka kwete kutevedzera isu takazara mafructure.

One thing is you can’t take a good heart away from Smelly Dube! If you know you know.

Information reaching my ears though says Mavhima either invited or acted under instaruction to nail big names in the City. I am reliably informed that ZAAC has been meeting the Minister of State behind closed doors possibly discussing a take-down of those who defied the Lacoste faction back then. Anyway, power is not permanent and another season of Zanu PF fight Zanu PF has premiered.

Ohh, salutations. After a week investigating issues happening in the corridors of power Tichatonga will be wanting to belt out all before his small memory crushes with facts overload.

Greetings and salutations to you dear comrades, this is your one and trusted O’vet who witnessed the tribabilas incident; muera nhema who when he lies his teeth decay. The only academic credential I have is speaking truth to power.

Usually, cases of statutory rape are open and shut with little debate. There is a case of a self-confessed sex worker who recently bedded a minor and granted bail, not only that but facing fresh lesser charges. Argument being minor was a willing participant!

Cde Tichatonga is amazed plenty at the decision and also left with a lot of questions whether Gumbura and Kereke are really guilty after all. It is not so much the issue in question that amuses Cde Tichatonga as it is the drawn analogy to the rape that we are being subjected to by this Rural Party regime.

Being a solicitor for sexual favours, Cde MoreHardy did the Honourable thing, after his dishonourable escapades, and stepped aside. It is something one would feel the whole regime could take a left from and resign en-masse.

But then knowing how much these not so honourables in power enjoy raping Zimbabwe, resigning from power is something the raped hope they will do, but haaaa varume vacho zvishambwe zvinofirapo nekuzvimbirwa. Ndivana hatiende.

It is only in Zimbabwe that police corruption and bribery are the norm. Infact it is legal by default. How else does one explain how a person tasked with ensuring adherence to the law become the first one to break the law and not bat an eyelid?

Zvinoshamisa zvinoitwa nemapurisa enyika. But of course, the hot issue is the death of Nyale wekuMtapa after allegedly being beaten up by police officers. Ndizvo zvataakusangana nazvo munyika medu. And of course, there is an Assistant Commissioner who came out guns blazing in defense of the police but as we learnt at war, povo yazviramba and ikujamuka.

There are a few versions of the events which transpired, but Cde Tichatonga has observed that chances are the court of public opinion is likely to believe the family’s version of events, and judge that the Police are guilty of murdering the man. Handione vanhu vakawanda vachibvuma nyaya yatiri kutengeserwa nemapurisa.

If anyone would agree with me, mapurisa aya anenge akadhakwa. How many have we seen in shabeens at a time they should be enforcing the law. Tese tinovaziva vakadai nemazita avo! Passing through the Mashava roadblock last week where I had visited my relatives staying a similar dumpsite as ours here, I saw them drinking on duty. Kutomwira paroadblock usfunge!

The COVID jab has also been debatable in the social media streets. Cde Tichatonga is still debating whether to get the jab or not, especially after the ‘prophecy’ by Emmanuel Makandiwa, where he intimated VP Guvheya did not ‘sacrifice’ himself when he appeared to be taking a COVID jab form a Skilled Rebhara on TV…and speaking of Skilled Rebharas, Cde Tichatonga wonders what Skilled Rebhara Hunzvi would have said when the VP made that statement. He must be turning in his grave.

But definitely Cde Tichatonga is of the opinion that that O’vet Hunzvi is better off where he is, hahahaha. There are a lot of people interred at the Heroes and Robbers Acre whom society is better off without.

As for Makandiwa and his cronies, that is other ‘prophets’, Cde Tichatonga thinks either they are seeking relevance or they are just opportunists. How they collectively failed to predict a pandemic of this magnitude defies logic.

And I think these prophets should assist MoreHardy to smoke out whoever leaked his escapades.

I am getting to that point where I feel those who work in cohorts with the ferret force would accuse me of yep-yep. Yes, like I always say, speaking your thoughts is a crime in Zimbabwe when it’s however permissible in our capital city South Africa kkk. If you know you know.

But before I go, my mujibas have been hinting me of some new kid on the block. Hanzi Relievers Funeral Services is something that is just bouncing back as old wine in new bottles. Many people were victim to Africa Haven and the same directors are running another gig again. IPEC iripi nhai imi? Anyway, I don’t like rushing things but as usual, let the Mujibas finish their investigations and we might be having a discussion point on this next week.

Till next time folks, listen to yourself intently, join the voice, and add yours.

Following the lockdown extention, ndakumwa hangu 7 days. Regai ndimbokuchidzira mazondo angu. Mbuya Mafidhe vatosvina 7 days yacho, pfuko yemuzukuru is fermenting away.

Adious amigos.

Cde Tichatonga.

Out!

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