Home OpinionComrade Tichatonga The gods of Command Contentment

The gods of Command Contentment

by commuadmin
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I travelled to Harare from the Midlands today and for the first time I came face to face with her majesty as the car I boarded headed down Samora Machel Avenue. It was a marvel, a spectacle… I can’t explain the feeling.

The joy was short lived however when I thought of the misery Zimbabweans go through when they try to shop with Nehanda. Yes, the 50 bond note. That note can’t even buy a loaf of bread nor does it give you enough for a local ZUPCO trip to and from town. So is Panodyiwa Mangudya and his swarm of flies interpreting that Nyakasikana was some sort of bad luck back in the war.

Had she been part of the Second Chimurenga I would have brought answers. During the time we joined the revolutionary struggle she was a figure of motivation though. Until now the young can sing along the Mbuya Nehanda kufa vachitaura jingle yet the revolutionary figure is being put into shame nxaaa.

This explains why war vets have since been forgotten and the revolutionary promises flushed down the sewer drainage. If you think am lying, I dare you go listen to late Vengai Muzenda’s poem where he laments ‘tichazoverinikoooooo….?’ May his dear soul rest in peace.

Talking of the departed, let me take this time and give a bow in remembrance of thousands dying of COVID-19 every day. Surely, it’s not their choice but this unforeseen monster has really ravaged livelihoods is even threatening cultures. Tichatonga says get well soon to those fighting the ailments and sends comfort those who have lost their loved ones.

With such a somber environment tormenting my mind salutations had skipped my mind. Greetings and salutations to you dear comrades, this is your one and trusted O’vet who witnessed the tribabilas incident; muera nhema who when he lies his teeth decay. The only academic credential I have is speaking truth to power.

Back to the day’s agenda, Zimbabweans are forced to be content. We are coerced into being okay when things are going south left right and center. ‘The voice of the people is the voice God!’ once said someone in a power grabbing speech kkk.

I wonder however which ‘God’ was Scafmore talking about. Or shall we say ‘god’ because if it’s the biblical Lord I don’t see that dude being a good heavenly ambassador. Who am I to judge though? Maybe I should confirm this with Prophet Madungwe kkkk. Yes, leaders are put there by God, but then so was Saul, Nebuchadnezzar, Ahab, Caesar, Pharaoh and Herod.

The gentlemen and ladies in Shake Shake Building have shaped themselves into demi gods. They seem to believe in their policies as divine decrees. They ‘only say the word’ and Zimbabwe cries. They pass Statutory Instruments like confetti and how we will be affected they don’t care. Hanya nani Mbudzi yeGovernment?

And even when they appear to be shooting themselves in the foot by the harassment of activists like Fadzai Mahere, Joanna Mamombe, wangu wepangu paChirumanzu apa, and now Makomborero, haaa they still claim we should worship them.

Ko handiti tumwari here? They shout all the louder, “You love us!”  kkk, zvimwe muti munotamba vakomana. The way this Rural Party headquartered in Harare deals with Zimbabweans has all the indications of a rapist claiming that his victim loves him.

Their behavior is like that of scientists who tell us that we should cough in our elbows to avoid COVID-19 while they go on to say we should adopt the elbow greeting to avoid the virus. Is there any logic in that? Sometimes Tichatonga really wonders whether that’s a corrective measure or something maybe it was put up to differentiate the sane from the insane kkk.

COVID-19 is real though guys and I will give you a little education from promotional material which is often thrown to our hoe, the dumpsite without reaching the masses. The material says you can take your second jab at any interval so don’t freak if the supplies delay coming. More so, they also say you can still fall pregnant if you get vaccinated.

More health news even says Zimbabwe was removed from the TB reflagged nations meaning those who have been looting such funds will soon be broke. More so, a development in the fight against HIV/AIDS has been on the positive as the nation approved the Dapivirine ring for use in Zimbabwe. Should I now get an honorary doctorate in health science maybe…?

We are in Eastertide and I think I read somewhere once in the Bible, Jesus saying we should be content with what we have as God provides for our every need. As you have seen, there are developments in the health sector worth celebrating though some of these give passage for lootists to loot. Don’t be surprised when the Depivirine ring hits the streets costing above average costs!

Talking of corruption, am told Europeans are fighting corruptors better than ZAAC when it comes to clamping wings of individuals involved. This emerged as our own Kuda Tagwirei becomes the first African to be placed under UK’s Global Anti-Corruption Sanctions list after having corruptly siphoned billions of UDs from the fiscus.

Meanwhile, ZAAC’s focus is mainly on teacher’s extra lessons and Bishops selling bibles and hymn books. If Zimbabwe was to bring gold medals from the ongoing Olympics, I bet they should introduce such sports as corruption kkk.

As usual Tichatonga feels if he continuous he will soon be accused of yep-yep. It is no lie that speaking truth to power is often criminalised in our land of honey and milk lol. I can’t however go before talking of happening back home, kwedu kuMidlands kwatinotongera nyika.

Word that former Director in Larry Mavima’s office had passed on had skipped me. It’s was sad learning about the sad demise after peeing into a bench mate’s phone. It was even sad to eavesdrop a conversation in the streets which said the old fella was stressed having learnt he was leaving government with no benefit after having been a good disciple to the system for more than two decades.

It was also sad to learn that by the time of his demise he was now staying in an unusual environment somewhere at in Chivhu, out of the government house comfort in the city. It was even sad to know that Mavhima himself failed to stand for him the time he needed him most. Sad! My heart is even bleeding I can’t go on talking about nyaya dzekumusha.

As sad and touched as I am, let me keep quiet and get you more updates for our next meet up because if I pour all I have today, they will demolish my home kwedu kuDumpsite kwatinogara uko.

Ko Cody The Rank Marshal manga muchimuziva here…?

Meanwhile, let me take a walk ndakananga kumachills kwamaFidhi. These days only us regular poachers are allowed inside as we work as spies to alert whether police are coming or not and also to assist those who are not allowed to be on the venue to buy our everyday opaque. Very soon am told it will be no vaccine no beer so to my good friends, let’s get vaccinated.

Aluta Continuation MaComrades.

Adios Amigos.

Tichatonga, Out!

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